Tough Nut to Crack
by tangerinemochimaiden
Summary: They were broken beyond repair, and yet they were able to make amends. It wasn't easy, but in the end, love triumphed.


Title: **Tough Nut to Crack**  
Pairing: **Sheldon Lee Cooper **and **Amy Farrah Fowler**  
Rating:** T  
**Song of Choice:** Just Give Me A Reason **by** Pink feat. Nate Ruess**  
Disclaimer: **I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any of the characters. Rights belong to Bill Prady, Chuck Lorre, and CBS. I do not benefit monetarily from writing this story. The least I can do is fangirl.**

"You sneaky blonde. I thought it's just you and I?" Amy asked Penny. As soon as her eyes landed on the lanky man sitting in his usual spot on Penny's sofa, the memories of _that_ night resurfaced and made things worse. Like rubbing salt on a deep wound.

If there was one thing Amy Farrah Fowler's keen sense of observation didn't catch, it was the distraught state of her boyfriend. Or at least, ex-boyfriend. To her, he was dead. Another lifeless corpse. After initiating coitus, which, in fact, was both their first time, he even had the guts to leave her in the middle of the night and disappear from her life a week before their fifth anniversary.

"It's good that he didn't go back to his cat obsession. I would much rather prefer an apartment that didn't reek of cat stool." Leonard shrugged as he took Penny's hand and lead her to the door.

"You two need to talk, Amy. I'm sure Shelly has a lot of things to tell you." Penny said as Leonard pulled her out of the room and closed the door after them.

"We're putting you in lockdown!" _Click._

"I can't believe this." Amy muttered as she made her way to Penny's kitchen.

She ransacked the cupboards, looking for liquor. If she was going to stay with Sheldon in lockdown, she'd most likely prefer to be drunk. That way, she'd be able to numb herself and shun out her logical reasoning.

After a few moments, she came across a bottle of Cuervo. It was too strong for her taste, but she decided it was better than sobriety.

"I'd most rather have...my logical Amy for this conversation rather than an intoxicated one." He mustered up all the guts he can to talk to her.

"Who said I even want to talk to you? And you call me yours? I believe that whatever Agreement it was that we had was terminated a week ago." she said as she poured herself tequila on a rock glass.

As simple as her sentence was, it was enough to bruise him. And it was enough to make him stand up and pry the glass away from her hand.

"No glass? Fine." she said as she extended her arms to retrieve the bottle, only to be stopped by a strong grip on both her wrists.

For a while, time seemed to stop. He fixated his gaze on her and took in her face; how her pink lips were pulled into a straight line, how her neat eyebrows were furrowed, and how her eyes—empty and unfulfilling—bore into his. It was as if all the love and glee were drained from her. But he pondered on his presumptions. He could blame no one but himself. He was the one responsible for breaking her.

As for Amy, she didn't know how much longer she could keep her cold façade. Just seeing him seemed to do the trick. Tears were threatening to fall, but she fought them back. Only in their fair proximity from each other's face did she see how much of a wreck he was. His usually neat hair was unkempt and matted to his face, he had bags under his red puffy eyes, and his cheeks had changed. It wasn't noticeable and eye-catching, but the hollowness was there.

"You know how much I hate begging, Amy. _Please. _Just don't drink." He said in a stern and hoarse voice.

Only then was she able to pick up his unusual scent. It had a citrus tinge, lemon, if she wasn't mistaken, but as soon as the lemon wafted through her nose, a strong wave of alcohol hit her. It made her want to gag, but there was nothing to regurgitate.

As if by reflex, she winced. He realized it was from his grip, and so he let his arms fall limp on his sides. Unsure what to do next, he just walked back to Penny's sofa and sat on one end. He gestured for her to sit on the other end, where his 'spot' could probably be, if it was his own sofa.

"If this is your way of making me feel better, making me sit in your _spot_, I'm not buying it." she said as she carefully plopped herself on the seat.

"Just listen to me. That's all I ask of you."

"If that's what I have to do to get out of this room, then so be it."

"Thank you, A-" but he was cut off.

"Not so fast, Sheldon Lee Cooper," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest. He preferred it when she calls him 'Sheldon', but by the way things were going, _nomen est omen_. The name already contained an omen. "Play by the rules, and I'll listen to you." It irked him that she was setting rules, but if it was what it would take for her to listen, he'll manage to oblige.

"Okay."

"First, don't use your insolence and hubristic ways on me. Second, earn an A-plus for originality. I don't care how awfully pleasant the quote is, once I sense it's from a movie or book, my doors are closed. Third, when I ask a question, answer it. Fourth, when I talk, you listen. Lastly, don't lie to me." he just nodded at every rule, thinking hard on what to replace his quotes with, and how he was going to be truthful.

_Exactly._ Amy thought as she looked at his expression.

"Amy, it might have seemed that I was a nincompoop for doing what I have done..."

"Seemed? Of course you were being unreasonable."

"Okay, so I _was_ a jerk..."

"You still are."

"Amy!" It came off as a hiss. Whatever it was that Sheldon was using to control his anger, it was working. "Won't you even hear the end of my sentences? I thought you wanted nothing else to do with me anymore? The sooner I finish, the sooner you get out."

Amy was flustered out of embarrassment. He was finally setting her free, she thought she could at least let him talk. She looked down, her shoes suddenly became interesting. He took her silence as his signal to continue.

"You know how it is for me, Amy. I'm terrified of even the idea of physical contact, afraid of getting attached, scared of germs. I abhor stepping out of my comfort zone. Worse, I don't even like women, especially those beneath me. Well, the exception is set for my mother, my mee-maw, and Penny. I tolerate Bernadette, I despise Priya, but there's a woman I decide to keep in my life wholeheartedly. That's you."

"Keep trying, Sheldon."

"At first, you were an annoyance. Nonetheless, I liked your company. You were my equal, and you resemble me in almost every way possible. I can truly be myself around you. But as time passed, you were more of an annoyance than I ever expected. Out of bounds, really. No matter how much I tried to shun you out, you were still there. No matter how much I went on with shutting you out, you were still there, unnerved and determined to break my shell."

"If this is your idea of explaining and apologizing, I suggest you stop. Your words are lancets."

"Hear the end of it, Amy. Don't be stubborn."

"Don't be stubborn?" Amy jolted up on her feet. "What the hell, Sheldon! You rant about yourself and tell me how annoying I am? Do you really think I'm stupid? That I'm a heartless robot like you who can tune out everything?" She didn't mean for it to sound that way. It was word vomit, but there was no taking it back now. Fresh tears streamed down her face as she clenched her fist and glowered at him.

"So that's how you really think of me?" it barely came out as a whisper, but she heard it.

She couldn't answer. Instead, she slumped back down on her seat and looked away. She felt a hand touch her shoulder. She turned to face him, and he handed her a handkerchief. His face was blank, but his eyes gave away his hurt. A lone tear fell from his right eye.

"This talk just makes it harder for us, Sheldon. Let's face it. We're broken beyond repair." she said as she accepted the handkerchief and wiped away her tears.

"At least grant what we have a closure."

"Here you go again with your closure problems. But, you're right."

"Please try to be patient with me, Amy."

"You're seriously asking me that? I've been putting up with everything you are for five years! You don't know how much it hurts me that people think our relationship is a joke!"

"Go and give me a piece of your mind."

"Why did you leave? Rather, why do you always leave? Don't you love me? Or at least feel a little remorse?"

"I feel awful, Amy. I've never been with a woman like this. It was already late when I realized that the day you came into my life was the day that my life would change forever."

"Change? For the better, or for the worst?"

"Both, really. But if I were to weigh out both sides, I would say for the worst-" he was cut of mid-sentence.

"That's it. I don't want to do this anymore."

"-I got used to you being there for me all the time. It's hard for me to admit, but I wanted you to be there. It was like my _obsession _with closure-I craved it, your presence. The feelings were foreign to me, and I didn't like it. It was like a disruption of my routine, but a huge part of me wanted it. Step by step, you made me warm up to you. I started caring so much, and I couldn't seem to get you out of my mind. Then came along Zack and Stuart. I couldn't stand the idea of you doing to them what you do to me. I was jealous. I couldn't admit it then, but I was envious."

"I knew it."

"Now is not the time to be arrogant."

"Says you." He rolled his eyes at her statement.

"They were better than me. A few sweet words and some physical contact and you'll leave me for either one of them. And now I'm having a hard time getting them—you, along with the feelings—out of my system."

She blushed furiously at his words. The Sheldon in front of her wasn't the coward she once knew. This time, he's changed. Not entirely, but gradually.

"Then why do you leave me hanging?"

"Unexpectedly, I started having the urge to be physical, little by little. Entwining my hand in yours, embracing you, planting kisses on your lips, and recently, you know." He started fidgeting.

"I know what?" Amy asked, testing him.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"I want to hear it from you."

"...Coitus."

"Not that bad, was it?"

"It was paradisiacal."

It was exactly what she wanted to hear from him. That night was full of first-time experiences. At first, it was a time for passionate kissing, and the next thing they knew, they were fumbling in the dark. Eventually, everything fell right into place and you could say it was blissful. His face contorted into a look of pleasure, and as he made all those _arousing _noises before and as they reached their climax, she seemed to find it all too good to be true. Somehow, it was, because waking up next to an empty space in a bed wasn't her idea of a _good morning._

"You still haven't answered my question, Sheldon. Why do you leave me hanging? Disappearing like a thief in the night."

"I was beyond terrified. When I did those things with you, I was ecstatic. But as soon as I felt relief, fear crept in and I was perturbed. As much as I liked them, it wasn't in my nature. The hours and days I distanced myself from you were to keep the emotions hidden. I had to bury them away. But a part of me is satisfied with everything. I prefer not having those physical contact, but now that I've done them, I'm glad I did them with you."

Her heart melted at his words. It wasn't from any movie or book. It was from his heart. Or, at least, his brain.

"Better have done it with my equal than someone downgraded, right?" But her happiness was short-lived. After all that he had revealed, she was still just his mere equal.

"I have one last thing to ask you, Sheldon." he couldn't put his finger on it, but the way she said his name was warm. Not the same as she used to, but it was an improvement.

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"That wasn't enough for you? I've revealed so much, Amy."

"It's different, Sheldon. Saying those words changes everything."

"You're being impossible, Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Say it and I'll stay." Silence engulfed the two of them. _I knew it._ she thought. "No? Okay." she said as she stood up to march to the door.

A hand gripped her by the wrist and stopped her dead in her tracks. He spun her round to face her and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Don't leave me." It sounded more like a command than a request.

"Then say it."

"I love you." he whispered. It was nearly inaudible.

"What?"

"I love you." he was still whispering, this time louder than the first.

"Huh?"

"You're just toying with me now." he rolled his eyes at her.

"Not my problem you prefer to speak in a voice like a rodent's."

"I love you." a few decibels louder than the previous.

"Didn't quite catch that."

"I love you, Amy Farrah Fowler." He said in a tone oozing with truth and assurance before he planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"I love you, too." She hugged him. She felt rejoiceful at the affection that she was finally getting from him.

"I suggest we bang on the door to call their attention." Sheldon suggested as he fixated an open palm a few inches before the door.

"I'll try to twist and turn the knob."

"You do that."

Sheldon started banging an open palm on the door, a routine of three hits and a shout of either 'Penny' or 'Leonard', and stepped back a little to aim for a harder blow in the door. His hand was just about to make contact with the door when Amy was able to open it with one twist of the knob. Sheldon almost fell to floor.

"All this time it was open?"

"I guess so."

"Thoes sneaky bastards," he dusted himself and grabbed his windbreaker from Penny's coat stand. "I guess this means we resume with our relationship Agreement?"

"Can we just forget about that 31-paged Agreement even just for the day? I just want a normal boyfriend right now. I promise we'll talk about this soon."

"I guess that would be great. Due to this advancement," he intertwined his fingers with hers. "We would have to draw up a new contract."

"Fine by me."

"Wanna go out for ice cream?"

"Sure." Hand in hand, they walked out of the apartment and rode Amy's car to a well-known ice cream parlour.

"Hey, Mrs. Cooper." Penny greeted Mary through Skype.

"How did it go? Do I have to go there now? Is my son hung up on cats again?"

"That won't be necessary, Mrs. Cooper. I can't believe it. Your plan worked!" Leonard said.

"Of course it did. Apparently, my little Shelly mans up through the help of alcohol. Thank you for sharing his Long Island incident with me, Penny."

"Always glad to help your Shelly be a man." Penny winked at her.

"So, how did it go? Was it platonic? Dramatic? Romantic?"

"It was a mixture of dramatic and romantic!" Penny squealed.

"We got it all on tape like you wanted to." Leonard said.

"Great. Just ship 'em to me, darlin'."

"Will do, Mrs. Cooper." And Penny shut the video chat off.

"Looks like Sheldon's finally a man." Leonard said as he draped an arm over Penny.

"Mm-hmm," Penny said as she snuggled up to him. "Long live Pasadena's power couple."

"Sheldon, you said I was unnerved and determined to break your shell. Did I succeed?"

"No." Amy's shoulders slumped as she drove to their destination. Her attempts were still feeble.

"You just found a crack and seeped right into my heart."


End file.
